What is Childfree is Not a Dirty Word?
Childfree is Not a Dirty Word (CNDW) is a community-based website for childfree women. It offers engaging articles to suit all aspects of a childfree woman’s life. It also offers a forum that allows childfree women to connect with others who have made the same life choice as them.
Why I created Childfree is Not a Dirty Word
I decided to create Childfree is Not a Dirty Word after a few years of searching for childfree communities. You see, expect for a few fleeting moments in my 20s, I’ve always known I wanted to be childfree.
I’d never found this ideology odd until my mid-20s when people started asking me when I was having kids and I started telling them I wasn’t. I soon realized that proclaiming your childfree stance was looked down upon and doubted. There was hardly a single person who wouldn’t argue me about my choice, and that’s how I realized I was different from most women.
Though I knew my choice was different than most I knew that there was NO WAY I was the only woman out there who didn’t want kids. So I went and searched for others and you know what, I found more people like me! But I also found many childfree people who weren’t like me. A lot of the childfree groups seemed to be filled with people who hated kids and hated parents. The terms they used to refer to both were derogatory and I was shocked. After all, my friends, sisters, colleagues, aunts, and of course mom and grandmas all had children. I also have five nieces and nephews I adore. I don’t have a shred of hate in me for children or parents, I just don’t want to be a parent.
Feeling discouraged that I couldn’t find a group of people that shared a similar lifestyle and outlook as me it finally occurred to me that I could create that group. If I was looking for that sort of community than surely, in a world of 8 billion people, there were others searching as well. I have a communications and marketing background so I knew I had the knowledge needed to set something like this up so away I went!
Fast forward 14 months and we have a Facebook page with almost 4,000 members and a newly launched website! Our community obviously discusses the issue of being childfree but we also discuss a whole lot more. You see, being childfree is only a small part of our identity. Many of us are career women, travellers, pet lovers, wives, etc. so we discuss those wonderful aspects of our lives as well.
Our content is content that I’m comfortable with everyone seeing, whether someone is childfree, on the fence, or a parent. Sure we sometimes poke fun at parenting, but I don’t ever post anything that I wouldn’t be comfortable teasing any of the parents in my life about. I want to build a community of respect. Respect for people who choose not to have children and respect for people who do want/have them. I don’t ever want any of the women in our Facebook group or on our website to feel they have to hide the fact that they’re childfree. By building a community free of hate and judgement, I hope it makes it easier for people to openly state their childfree stance and for others to accept that stance.
I would love to see the conversations in society shift from ‘when are you having kids’, to ‘are you having kids?’ We’re in the 21st century. It’s time for the world to realize that having children is a choice and it’s not a choice that everyone chooses. It’s time for childfree to stop being a dirty word!